OK, folks, it’s a walk down memory lane: Who sang it, originally? What’s the name of the record (yes, the record)? Who did the remake? If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then you must really think that I did dance until 2:45 in the morning… and you didn’t come of age in the 60’s or 70’s!
Last weekend, I attended my #??? Ferndale, Michigan, High School class reunion. (You didn’t really think I was going to reveal the number of years, did you?). Suffice it to say it was before the Apple 2C. In any case, every time this invitation arrives, I think of all the insecure thoughts we all think before a reunion: I don’t know anyone anymore. What if ____ is there? (fill in blank with one of following: old boy/girlfriend … that girl/boy who said those evil “put downs” to me in chemistry class … that clique of hip, slick, and cool girls). It’s high school fears all over again. Because, of course, that’s where we left those people. And if you live a long way from your home town, as I do in San Francisco, there’s the additional “I have nothing in common with them anymore, and most of them never moved away.”
Then, you go. Something deep inside makes you do it. On the way, you stop at White Castle with an old friend, and you get the same heartburn that you always did. Hmmm. Something very odd is happening. That characteristic smell and the disgusting aftertaste of those sliders are somehow very comforting. It’s the taste and smell of your childhood. White Castle – and you’re home again.
On the way down to the hotel ballroom, you’re actually nervous. Then, it all goes away. The greeters are thrilled to see you. Hugs all around. You’re lit up with smiles. You hear “OMG, Kathy Forsythe!”, and you turn to see someone you would swear you’ve never laid eyes on in your life. You look at his name tag and his high school picture, and you say, “OMG, Randy Finney!” All those people that you hope aren’t there? They aren’t. Maybe they were the insecure ones in the end. And if they are there, you will be amazed how they have changed in 40+ years! (I’m just sayin’…).
You learn that joy and tragedy plays no favorites. Sure, some have had it better than others. Some personalities have changed, some not. There are still dorks (no names here!), a few are still funny, there are still the studious ones, some are still happy, and some are still sad. All of us are older, and all of us have been sobered by life. Some have lost spouses. Several had lost children. Some went bankrupt (several times). One guy is an undertaker (mortician? What’s the pc title, here?). He’s still the funniest person I have ever met. I asked about business, and he said, “Not bad. I had one today before the reunion, and I got two more cookin’ for tomorrow.” Completing the picture, there was the promkingnowdoctor who arrived in his Armani suit with 33 year old eye candy on his arm, of course. He kept his hand on her butt all evening long.
Our histories are very much a part of who we are. At my women’s event, Sex on the Porch, we talk about our sexuality in terms of how our life wisdom dictates how we act today as a man or as a woman. What I learned at Ferndale High School about being sexual gave me – and all of us – the foundation upon which we moved forward expressing ourselves uniquely as men and women throughout our lives. Were we wounded or abused?Was our first sexual experience wonderful or scary and painful? If we attended church, synagogue, or mosque what dictums were handed to us to guide us – or to turn away from? Our life wisdom all started ‘way back then. How much do we carry today that still influences our thinking?
At midlife, there’s a tsunami of change. One thing remains constant, and that’s the people who touched our lives ‘way back then. It’s good to go back and touch your roots.
Btw, who sang it originally? Gary U.S. Bonds. What’s the name of the record? “Quarter to Three” Who did the remake? Bruce Springsteen. Click here to get all the original lyrics – and have your own class reunion.
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