Ah, first date aftermath. Here’s the facts: women obsess. Men move on. Sheila, 63, called me yesterday. Incredible evening of quiet talk. He, 65, is warm, kind, gentle, and has money. A treasure! (She has money, too, so no gold digging here.) They talked about ancient medieval history, a passion of both of theirs (ok, to each their own).
Then, just before they left the restaurant, he told her he was going scuba diving with an old college friend in Bermuda, leaving day after tomorrow. Male or female old college friend? Male (Good news). He (her date) would sure love to find a scuba diving woman. (Bad news. Sheila doesn’t scuba dive – she’s terrified of large bodies of water in which terra firma is covered with hundreds of leagues of liquid drowning fluid).
Let’s put a little cartoon bubble over each of their individual heads on the way home, after they said goodnight. Sheila, in her car by herself: What am I going to do? He is amazing, and I don’t scuba dive. When he finds out he will never ask me out again. I have to learn to scuba dive. OMG. I’m so scared of the ocean. I’ll throw up under water. Has anyone died learning to scuba dive? I wonder what he is thinking. Did I talk too much? Was he asking me if I was a scuba diver? Should I have told him? Maybe I should call him right now while it’s still fresh? … And here’s the bubble over her date’s head: That was fun. Better get home and pack.
True story. A classic example of the hardwiring difference between women and men. Ladies, we can relax. No way (or rarely) is he obsessing as we do. We’re hardwired to analyze, examine, and quadsect every situation. He has one (count it, one) neuropath for this event. He liked it or not. And he moves on, in his mind. Will he ask you out again? That’s not the issue at hand for him. Down the road, when it’s time, he will think about it. Not now. Men, back me up, here. We women can let go of the over-analyzing.
Ladies, go home and have a glass of wine and a piece of dark chocolate, instead. It’s much better for the heart and the soul, right now.