I was thinking about a former lover last night. There was just something about the way he smelled. To clarify: No, not the way he sniffed the garlic in the spaghetti sauce! This is that lingering remembrance deep in the brain of something intangible, something powerful. In his clothes, in intimacy, even when we were out in the heat of the day together – I can still recall the elixir of his scent. Long after we broke up, it was the fragrance of his body that made the loneliness without him palpable.
Maybe that’s why my friend Louise saved her husband’s soccer shirt, unwashed, after his untimely death. “It’s in a plastic bag”, she confessed. “I sniff it every day, and he’s right here with me.” Reader: Be careful of that yuk response. Apparently, her reaction makes a lot of sense. I have always believed that a primal smell attracts us to a potential mate, arouses us, connects us, and at the risk of hyperbole, is how we become addicted to him/her. Social psychology notwithstanding, I believe it’s the unconscious glue that binds us.
In WebMD online, I found a couple of experts that agree. Helen Fisher says that the “chemisty” between 2 people originates from the need to complete “chemical families”. Martie Haselton, PhD says we rate the body odors of potential partners without even knowing it. Yum. I pick you because you smell right. The bouquet of your body tells me you fill in the gaps where my hormones are lacking. I have lots of estrogen. You have testosterone. Or maybe its dopamine or serotonin. According to Dr. Haselton, it’s called histocompatibility.
The next time you’re with that special someone, or working to find him/her, put your nose in the equation. Your woof-woof might have it right – just the right sniff may tell you more than any speed dating. Sharpen your snout. I’m just sayin’…
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