That’s everybody’s dilemma – except if you are retired. Even then, we busy ourselves, and we can hear ourselves saying something like, “I’m am up to my eyeballs in alligators”. We are busy people. Work. Taxes. Meetings. Health challenges. Household chores. Travel. Children coming and going. Grandchildren coming and going!
The answer has 2 parts:
1. When you are getting pressure, or when you feel that sex would be really nice right now … but you’re too tired, I want you to stop and take a deep breath. Assess the situation. Be sure you are not just mentally exhausted – not physically exhausted. Sometimes our brains fool us into thinking we are physically too tired, when the truth is – our exhaustion is really mental. In that case, push yourself and give sex a whirl. The extra 1/2 hour you spend getting your energy focused physically can have a big pay off: relaxation and better sleep. Don’t push it away until you are sure your body is too tired, not your brain.
2.. You have to plan for intimate time to take the pressure off both of you (or yourself, if you are single). Yes, I know, it takes the fun and the spontaneity out of it. On the other hand, if you make time for sex, and stick to your plans, you can anticipate and fantasize about it. You can prepare the scene; you can talk to your partner about it; you can think of the wonderful touching you’ll be having. Planning is the key, along with good communication. Tell your partner that the pressure is too much, and it’s wearing you down. Figure out a time that works for both you … and go for it!
One more thing … you must really want to have intimacy. My favorite phrase is: yougottawannawanna. If you don’t want to do it, the plan will fail. Sex is all about attitude.
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