I finally saw Susan Boyle’s video on YouTube today. (If you haven’t seen it, follow the link! You will be blown away). She’s a 47 year old frumpily-dressed “virgin” who calls her situation “a shame”. Her amazing claim to fame is singing on Britain’s version of American Idol, and bringing the jaw-dropped house down and a standing ovation, with I Dream A Dream from Les Miserables. Everyone was shocked. Isn’t it amazing that a midlife woman with no “coolness” about her could produce that voice? Wait a minute! Why shouldn’t she produce that voice!?
C’mon people, can we get past the stereotypes, please? Just once, let’s stop demanding that creativity, talent, and raw guts comes to screeching halt when we reach mid-life and beyond.
Ok, ok, so their job on Britain Has Talent is to come back with snide quips and cutting remarks. I get that. But there is a bigger picture here. It’s a microcosm of what we fight as we age. It gets harder and harder to remain on the radar screen of society as a “pay attention to me” person. Add to it that she’s a woman, AND a self proclaimed virgin, and you have a real loser, according to our tribal values. Quite frankly, it makes me angry.
There is nothing we can do about it, right? I think there is. Susan Boyle had the guts it took to stand before that huge hip-slick-and-cool crowd – no make-up per se, frumpy dress, hair not styled, overweight, and so nervous she could not think of the word “village” when asked where she was from. We, in the midlife plus crowd, can take a lesson. When the crowd rolled their eyes, she sang, anyway. That’s when the jaws dropped.
Let’s fight to be visible. Don’t hold back. As the female panelist said, “This is the biggest wake up call ever!” Be eccentric. Be assertive. Say what you want. Let the child inside you come out to play. Let the Susan Boyle in you get on your stage and be whatever you need to be.
About the virgin thing: get over it, western culture. I’d be happy if we dropped that word completely. It’s a measuring stick. You either are, or you aren’t.
Folks, we all get a package in life. If yours doesn’t include intercourse (my definition of virgin), that has NOTHING to do with whether or not you are a sexual person!
I guarantee that the Susan Boyles of the world have found a ways to satisfy themselves sexually, whether they profess it or not. Self pleasuring is a perfectly fine way to celebrate sexuality. Touching with friends intimately works for some, as well. Dressing to please your skin allows you to feel sensual. Dating sites can get even the oddest of couples together – if that’s what you want. Let’s just quit it – this thing about virginity.
Joyce Nishioka at the National Sexuality Resource Center has an excellent blog about virginity. Check it out, here. Joyce’s editorial reflects the gen-x view of virgin-or-not. I believe we graduate into a new view of the whole thing at mid-life and beyond.
In the meantime, Susan Boyle is an inspiration for all of us. Want to go dancing because you love it? Go do it! What to play the guitar at open mike? Go do it? Want to feel sexy by wearing those pants and shirt you feel wonderful in? DO IT! And, Susan, if you really want to get laid, go find it. Like your overnight singing sensation, it will happen if you want it to.
She’s truly a wake up call!
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And now some sleazy folks want to give her a million bucks to star in a porno film where she actually loses her virginity. Now THAT is really ugly and totally depraved.